The Him That Won't Be There
by Kizem
Summary: One fateful day, Nagisa receives a letter from himself 6 years from the future. Although once thought it was a prank, incidents stated in the letter becomes true one by one. When the letter tells him to watch over the new transfer student, Karma, it tells him he is the only one who can save him. (Sorta based off of "Orange")
1. Chapter 1

During my time at E-class, I received a letter. How it got there, or where it even came from, I had no answer to that.

Jumping out of bed, I decided to make my day to "How I overslept for the first time" and ran out after getting dressed.

The blue haired male ran and entered his classroom. Listening to koro-sensei was usually a fun thing to do, however sometimes the yellow creature would go off to topics that are completely irrelevant. Sighing, he dug through his bag and took his notebook out. Ah, _the letter_. He concluded that he could read it now while his teacher was at it.

" **Nagisa Shiota,**

 **How are you doing so far in E-class?**

 **This letter is written around a few years from the future. The reason I'm writing to my old self is because of a favor only you can do.** "

 _A letter from me… probably a joke some of the guys pulled. Geez.._

" **I will now recall events that will happen very soon in your present time. Of course, what you should do will also be recorded down as well. Please take my advice and don't repeat the mistakes that I made.**

 **March 5**

 **Somehow woke up late for the first time but made it to school.**

 **There will be a transfer student today. His name is Karma.**

How did he know all of this? And a transfer student?

"Alright everyone, please quiet down! Nurufufu~ We actually have a transfer student today his name is Akabane Karma-kun. Why don't you introduce yourself to the class?"

 **He will be seated right behind you**

Confusion ran into his head as he questioned himself if this letter could actually be real.

"My name is already stated by this octopus teacher. It's a pleasure to meet you all, heh."

"Well then Karma-kun. Why don't you just sit behind Nagisa-kun? There's an empty seat right in the back."

 _There's no way.. this is probably just some really weird coincidence. Yeah._

As class continued and eventually stopped, Nagisa quickly read the rest of the letter while being invited out by a few friends. Of course he agreed as usual.

 **Karma is invited with you guys, but he declines at first**

 **Please, PLEASE don't let him go.**

 _What's so wrong about inviting him?_ The blue haired male saw the red head shaking his head playfully but then reluctantly agreed to go with them.

Along the way they bought different kinds of bread. From what Nagisa can see, Karma was a rather daring and carefree guy who likes to joke around from time to time. In addition, the red head have some fast reflexes and strength that he didn't find out until he saw him using knives and such. Seriously, everything seemed to be fine. Everyone was talking freely and chatting like how they normally do.

"Nagisa, which bread do you want?"

 _Curry bread.. but if someone else wants it, I would feel a bit bad._

"Whatever is fine for me." The blue haired male smiled waving his hand.

"Really? You're not just trying to be kind or something like that right?"

"No really! I'm good with anything."

"Well then, everyone grab what you want!"

Although every person reached out for different things at first, at the end everyone was arguing who would be the one that will have the curry bread. _Thank goodness I didn't say I wanted curry bread.. everyone wanted it after all._

However during their whole argument the red head went up to the shorter male making an offer to him. As he extended out his food he was smirking slightly.

"Nagisa-kun, trade my curry bread for your sesame bread?"

"Eh? Oh uh, sure. Thanks."

 _Did he read what I was thinking? Actually, do I even look like I want curry bread? Did he notice it and wanted to trade because of that?_

As soon as everyone walked to their separate ways, Nagisa went home and flipped open a page in his journal. Writing down little things such as "I traded bread with Karma-kun today." he wrote down what happened throughout the day with the exception of the letter. But soon he figured that there was also something important that he was missing in his entry.

 _So everything in the letter actually happened… from waking up late and walking home with everyone. Wait, if this is actually from me then I must've read my journal._

Widening his eyes and sweat dropping he reread the letter and what he just wrote only to find that the words were nearly exactly the same. It seems like he even kept the same handwriting over the couple of years. Nagisa slammed the letter and his journal on his bed.

 _This.. Its… REAL. What am I even supposed to do? I think I rather not know the future.._

The next morning, it seems like a certain red haired male wasn't at school.

"Is Karma sick today?"

"Dunno. Guess we should have asked for his phone number yesterday."

"I really do hope he's alright.."

"Eh what's this? Nagisa seems to be like in love with someone~"

"… WHAT?"

However after that, Karma-kun didn't show up for the next one and a half week. There were no signs of him at school. Maybe.. Just maybe..

 _If I followed what the letter had said, would he be going to school now? Does the letter explain why he's actually not attending school?_ Opening the letter she got yesterday, it seems like there was something new there.

 **March 16**

 **There will be a friendly match in the E-class**

 **I was asked to sub in**

 **One thing I regretted was saying no to that offer. I want you to accept the offer.**

 **Today is also the day I started falling for Karma.**

While the letter didn't say much on why the other wasn't at school, it did spark some fire when Nagisa read the last part. Falling for Karma? Even he found it just a little hard to believe that. Not that Karma was a bad person, in fact, he had to admit he was pretty amazing in many of the things he does.

 _But maybe not that day could have prevented him from not coming to school._

"Karma-kun's back!"

Hearing his name, the red head turned around with a smirk and a playful salute.

 _Thank goodness.. nothing bad seemed to have happened to him_

"Where were you the past week?"

"Cutting classes~ Sorry sorry, I figured last week's lesson was just a tad bit boring.

"…CUTTING CLASSES? THAT'S IT?"

"Haha yep!"

Just like what the letter Nagisa read said, their game started. He was sitting down on the grass as he watched his newly transferred classmate sit besides him commenting on the game here and there. For him, he enjoyed listening to him talking especially since sometimes he does say useful information.

"Well I don't think its actually a victory if they barely won."

"What do you mean?"

"Hm. I would say a total victory is scoring an easy win by doing what you usually do."

Just after he said that sentence, groups of boys begged Nagisa to help them sub in. However thoughts such as _"What if they lose because of me?"_ or " _If we lose this game, it would all be my fault."_ Filled in his mind. But remembering what the letter had said, he also remembered something about himself.

 _My future me regrets turning down the offer. If the letter is correct, then I would seriously be disappointed that I let my friends down. That was the same as letting myself down because I can actually help. Running away… of course it would be something I will always regret._

"Um… I'll sub in!"

And so he did just that. The place that he subbed in was something he could do. Nagisa realized that. Smiling , his team won just as expected of them. _That's right, I always gave in to my timid self._

Ahh his foot hurt like hell. Trudging back to the classroom he was stopped by Karma who asked him to sit down. Confused at first, he did what he was told to do but immediately protested when he saw him take off his shoes. A first aid kit came to view as he treated the other feet with a smirk telling him that he shouldn't push himself like that.

"Honestly its alright, it'll only cause people around me trouble if I told them about such a little thing. If no one notices it, then I can just ignore it too. That's how I've always did it."

"But I've noticed."

Flashbacks of the time when they were walking home filled Nagisa memory as he looked down slightly. _So he did see through me after all._

"And now we're done. Take it easy."

".. You too Karma-kun! I'm watching you too!"

"Haha do you now. I saw how you won for the team, you even exceeded my expectation. But watch me be the one to assassinate that homeroom teacher of ours."

 _Everything in that letter.. actually happened._

Back then when he said the words "I've been watching you" everything just seemed perfect. But maybe today if I fixed at least one of those regrets the future me had been carrying all along, it would be the first step of the right path.

 **(In the Future)**

"Nagisa! Think these flowers will be good enough?"

The now taller blue haired male gave a small smile with a nervous laugh.

"You do know that Karma wasn't that much of a fan of flowers right?"

"Its fine, its fine, the others are on their way too."

"I see. Wow its already been 6 years huh.."

"Yeah. Wished we can do it all over again."

"Can't disagree with that. But we would do it much more differently.."

There's so much more waiting for you to myself in the past. Things such as joy and happiness that you should cherish. Don't let it slip away from your hands.

Gripping on a piece of paper he recently just wrote on Nagisa looked up at the sky.

 **There is a reason I'm writing this letter to you from the future. I hold many regrets even though I turned 20.**

 **But there is one thing that will always haunt me.**

 **Here, 6 years from now, Karma will no longer be with us. Don't lose something precious to you.**

 **Watch over Karma with everything you have. Look after him. Be there for him. Please.**

((I'm currently writing another story but like lol I really felt like writing this one. Reviews are welcome! ))


	2. Chapter 2

**Here, 6 years in the future, Karma would no longer be with us.**

"Nagisa! Its time for school!"

 **March 23**

 **Karma joins Bitch-sensei's classes**

 **Since his mom don't make him lunch, I suggested I would make lunch for him**

"Karma-kun, I'm going to grab some bread"

"Oh, hold up I'll come with you too."

"You don't have lunch again today?"

"Nope, my mom never makes me one.

"Oh…"

The red haired male replied with a smile as Nagisa watched him show off his usual smirk and some side comments. It seems like the letter was right again. _I still don't know much about him…_

"Hey but don't you have lunch? Why buy?"

"Yeah but its not enough. I get hungry you know!"

 _In the future, Karma will no longer be with us. What does that mean? Although the letter have been right about everything so far.. this is just the one thing that I can't believe._

"Hey Karma wanna attend Bitch-sensei's class? Heard its actually interesting."

"Hmm? Lets see… Nagisa, you coming?"

"Huh? Ah yes, I usually go."

"Really? Alright add me in!"

Slinging his arm over the blue haired male's shoulder casually he grinned as Nagisa felt his face slowly heating up. _He's… actually pretty muscular._ However, a certain green haired female stared from afar until her button on her uniform popped out.

"Kayano-chan your button fell out!"

Nagisa turned his head toward his classmate smiling before telling her to come over so he could sew it back on.

"Eh you can sew?"

"Yeah, I have a mini-kit in my bag right now too."

"That's our Nagisa!"

As he finished sewing the green haired female grinned as she stated to go to Bitch sensei together.

 _Karma will be there too. I hope in the future.. We're as close as we are now, always._

It slightly surprised Nagisa to see that Karma was actually one of the most intelligent out of the whole class. He may not seem like it, but grasping concepts and understanding complicated subjects was like a breeze to the redhead. Out of all the students there, he would answer questions the fastest as well as make up questions that would take some time to answer.

"Nagisa… you're like a mother hen."

"Wha…?! No I'm not!"

"Its true, its true, he makes his own lunch every single day."

Karma looked at Nagisa in amusement and gave him a smile. He was seemed happy and liked having fun.

"Eh? Why don't you make my lunch as well while your at it Nagisa-kun?"

"Sure, I'll bring it tomorrow."

"Haha its fine, I was only joking."

 _A joke huh? It was just a joke.. But… I still want to make him one. I mean.. he did say he was joking. Yep it would be weird. I should probably just forget about it. Yeah._

 **Karma joins Bitch-sensei's class**

 **Since his mom don't make him lunch, I suggested I would make lunch for him**

 **But I lost my nerve and didn't**

 **I wish I made him lunch that day. On the 24** **th** **, I want you to make Karma's lunch and give it to him.**

The next day Nagisa woke up thirty minutes early just to make lunch for the two of them.

 _I hope Karma likes it. Or maybe he might just be weirded out. Maybe he'll hate it. I guess we'll just have to see…_

"Morning Nagisa-kun!"

"M-morning Karma.. haha.."

His classmate raised an eyebrow looking at him? Sure they don't know each other for that long, but he doesn't remember hearing Nagisa stutter like that.

 _Okay! I can do this! At lunch time I'll shove it in his hands and run away! That way, I don't have to see his expression and everything should work out just fine!_

It was lunch time as Nagisa opened his mouth to call out to the red head. But he couldn't. He watched Karma walking away to the cafeteria as usual to buy some bread for himself to eat. "Karma, I made you lunch" were the words he wasn't able to say. Looking down, he waited until the end of the school day.

"Nagisa, wanna walk home together?"

"Sure."

"Hey what's in that bag of yours. It seemed heavy since this morning. Need help?"

Hands reached out to carry the bag only to be slapped by the blue haired male. _The lunch!_ Biting his lips he knew he didn't really mean to carry out those actions he just did a few seconds ago. The red head slowly left without him.

"Right.. sorry."

 _If only I haven't made that lunch..What have I done? Things can change between two people so easily. I really wish.. I have never read that… stupid letter! Okay now. RUN!_

"Karma-kun! I'm really sorry about earlier!"

Running up to him he noticed Kayano was there as well and greeted her. But she looked down at the ground before smiling at Nagisa telling the two of them that she would go ahead first. _Its only the two of us now.._

"Nagisa where do you exactly live?"

"Mmm.. near Jouyama park. Do you know the way?"

"Nope, is this it?"

"Nope this is Nomori park."

 **If Karma looks sad, I want you to help him**

 _The only thing left in the letter was that. My future self probably never experienced this. But still, maybe it isn't so bad for new things to happen. Even if I don't know what the outcome will be. Oh well.._

"What do you like to do in your free time Nagisa?"

"Housework I guess. Or I usually help my mother out around the house. I actually enjoy doing that."

"Ha ha ha, you're hobby is housework?! My, you truly are a mother hen."

"Hey!"

 _Karma is always smirking or laughing.. and since he has so many questions, I wonder if its alright if I asked some as well._

"What about you? What do you like to do after school?"

"Lets see… games I suppose."

"Video games?

"Yeah."

"So when you were out for the week.. did you spend your time gaming?"

"Yeah."

But the expression Karma held was a little bit sad. Nagisa watched him close his eyes and reopen them staring ahead.

"My mother died on the day you guys invited me out. She committed suicide. So really… I was busy with the funeral and stuff during that week. "

 _All I wanted was to ask him some questions.. since Karma asks so many._

"Sorry Nagisa, didn't mean to make things weird."

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. Its none of my business. And it isn't weird."

Sad golden orbs stared into blue ones, as Karma smiled at him. It wasn't his usual happy go lucky smile, or smirk, or laughter but a smile that had a meaning behind it. Nagisa looked back at him a little worryingly. He really.. shouldn't have asked Karma that question. He watched his back while walking behind him.

" **Please, PLEASE don't let him go"**

 _It said.. not to invite Karma that day. Maybe.. I was trying.. to prevent this. Why didn't I trust the letter? I'm starting to understand… why my future self have so many regrets. Once again..I've failed Karma and myself. I don't want to live with regrets. Whatever it takes, I'll save him._

"Karma! You're lunch! I made it for you! I wanted to give it to you at lunch time, but I couldn't. I'm not that great of a cook either, but please eat it!"

 _Shouldn't I disappear? Take off and run away?_

The taller extended his hand out taking the bento that was in front of him. With a bright smile he laughed and held it.

"You know all day long.. I was secretly thinking if you would actually make me lunch. And you did! Thank you.. Nagisa. I should really start setting up higher standards for you."

 _He looked like.. he could cry. He took the lunch home with him. Karma.. kept smiling the whole time. He would always smile that same smile.._

"Then I'll bring one tomorrow too. And the day after that. I'll make you lunch every day, and if you don't come to school.. I'll go to your house and give it to you there!"

Karma laughed as he commented on how Nagisa acts too much like a mother.

 _His smile.. will stay with me. 6 years from now, always. Always._

 **(In the Future)**

"Hey everyone's here now!"

"Hey what's up with those flowers?"

*sigh* "They're for Karma."

"What?!"

 _Last month was the first time we graduated high school, all of us got together after that._

"So, what did everyone bring for Karma?"

"It's a secret!"

"Come on guys I want to know!"

 _We each brought our own presents.. just for Karma. We'll be together again. Feelings we never expressed, promises that we didn't keep…_

 **(Present Time)**

"Nagisa! Dinner time!"

 **Karma…**

 **Never fulfilling the promises he made for us.**

 **The thing we regret most..**

 **Is that we could've saved him.**

A teardrop fell from baby blue eyes.

 _I'll save him. I will! I'll_ save _Karma._

 _((Hi hi~ Hopefully you like this chapter… well as always reviews are welcome! See ya all soon ^.^ ))_


	3. Chapter 3

**(In the Future)**

 _Last month was the first time all of us had gotten together wince we graduated 6 years ago. We had met in order to, in our classmates words "Dig up our past."_

"Whoa its still here!"

 _When we were in our last year of middle school we buried this time capsule together. We addressed the letters to ourselves in the future, put them in a can, and buried it all in the corner of our school yard. During that time, Karma was still alive._

"Here's Kayano and Nagisa's!"

"Thanks."

 **To myself, Nagisa Shiota**

 **Are you doing well my future self? What are you up to these days? In my dreams, I would have a child and a wonderful family. Probably work as a nursery teacher as well. How did that turn out?**

 _I totally forgotten what I had written in that letter years ago. But the moment I read it, all the memories came flowing back._

"It seems I liked working with kids."

"Lets see! Well the "having a family and kids" is spot on. You and Kayano-chan have such a cute baby. Kyaa~"

"Hayano…"

Everyone read their own letters and laughed at how they're predictions were right or wrong. But most of them dreamed too big and just chuckled among themselves.

"Alright the last one is…"

"Karma's letter."

"… Can we open it?"

"We have to! But who will read it?"

"Why not Nagisa?"

"Eh? Ah alright…"

Nagisa cleared his throat and began reading.

" **To everyone in the future… how are you all? When I first transferred, I was actually worried about whether I will fit in with the rest of you. Even though I was like this, I was happy that you all called out to me.**

 **To all the snipers of E-class: I actually looked up to you guys. Yep that's right, the Karma Akabane respects you very much. Haha, your bullets always saves us.**

 **To the fighters who were along side with me: Thanks guys. It was fun. I never thought having people by your sides would make things so much more interesting.**

 **To the rest because I'm lazy: Honestly. Whether you're the chemist in our class, or the builders, it was all of you who helped me along the way. But there was one more person I want to address..**

 **Nagisa: You always think before yourself. And your always the happiest when everyone else is having a good time. When the whole class made cookies, yours was the best. Even just once, I wanted to try your cooking.**

 **I hope that even in the future, your all the same amazing people. Oh boy this is too out of character for you guys right? Well from the bottom of my heart, I wish you all the best."**

"Is that it..?"

"That's it…"

"Nothing about himself?"

"Nope."

"But… what about his future? Everyone was supposed to write about their dreams! We were supposed to write letters to our future selves! Why?! Why didn't he write his?"

"I.. don't know.. only Karma will know that.."

Everyone looked down holding back the tears that were threatening to come out. _Karma was killed in a traffic accident in June of his last year of high school. On that day too, we were all crying together asking why._

" Maybe.. he knew he didn't have a future."

"No! There's no way he could have known that.. unless he chose to die the way he did."

"But that would mean.."

"That wasn't a damn accident at all!"

 _We could have saved Karma… If only we had watched him more closely. If only we hadn't left him alone.. Karma might not have decided to take his own life._

"Lets go… to Karma's place. We couldn't celebrate his birthday then.. so let's do it now. Lets make at least one with come true. Let's stay close and keep being friends.

 _If I could live my life again.. I would run straight to Karma's side. And this time.. I will save Karma._

 **(Present)**

 **March 28**

 **Although Karma attends Bitch-sensei's classes, he started declining after realizing he had to wake up early.**

 **I want you to convince him to go. The truth is, I think he actually really wants to.**

 _Get Karma to go to the lessons? Alright, I can do this._

"Nagisa, I've decided to go to B-sensei's class though it's a pain. I'm leaving wake up calls to you!

"..What? Oh uh.. sure!"

 _Huh? Could it be.. the future is already changing? Since everything else written in the letter has come true… I better play it safe just to be sure. Surely if I keep making his lunch… and do things differently than my future self did, Then I'll have made the future a better place. So.. Does that mean Karma is still alive a few years from now. Wait if things change, what will happen to the letter? Does the fact that I have the letter means Karma is still not saved yet? Ugh time travel is complicated._

 _Well, I can worry about that later. But.. I do know that the future has changed, even if its just a little. The future can be changed!_

"Nagisa! Something in your mind?"

"Yeah, a little. Do you need something Karma-kun?"

"Not particulary. Just don't bump your head thinking too much."

Minami, or the science genius in the class runs up to the two of them. More focused on Karma from what Nagisa observed. He suspects that she even likes him. She have been staring at the redhead for quite a while after all.

 **April 2**

 **Only four hours of class, lucky you**

 **Minanmi-san confesses her feelings to Karma during a break.**

 **Karma starts going out with her.**

 _Ah its morning! Put the letter away, put the letter away, cell phone.. cell phone…_

"Um hello Karma? Its time to get up! Wake up!"

"Karma? Hello?"

"Morning…"

"Come on, you're still half asleep!"

 _The future can be changed. Nothing is for certain, no matter what the letter says. But will Karma.. really go out of Minami-san? More importantly.. I'm a little worried about him._

"Is there anyone you like?"

He felt his face heating up at that question. "What?! I.. No there isn't!

 _That.. is not true at all. Waah. Although I can't just say "Yes! Its you!" now can I.._

"How about you Karma? Is there someone you like?"

"Nah not really."

It was lunch time as Nagisa watched Karma lose a rock, paper, and scissor for buying juice for everyone.

"Nagisa what would you like?"

"Me? I'm fine with anything.."

"Really now? Cold canned coffee. Red bean soup? If you thought no to any of those, then you aren't fine with anything!"

"Uh.. orange juice I guess.."

 _If all you do is live with it.. Then that's not much of a life. The feelings I have towards him, are growing stronger. Ah, there is he is. Wait is that.. Minami-san? I don't want Karma to date Minami after all.. But this feeling, am I just being selfish? What should I do? Someone please tell me.._

 **(( A little short but I hope you enjoyed it. Well, more is coming in the future? I like reading reviews btw! :3))**


	4. Chapter 4

"Waah it looks like a confession!"

"Too bad we can't hear them…"

Nagisa grimaced just a little while watching from above. He smiled just like everyone else and then watched their science genius run away looking a little nervous. It seems like Karma didn't reject or return her feelings. Sighing, he went back to his own seat as the bell rang for class. They won't even have time to drink the juice that Karma will bring.

"Welcome back!"

"Yeah, oh Nagisa, your juice."

"Thanks."

 _In the letter, I'm sure it said that in the next class…_

 **Just before fourth period, I lend my mechanical pencil and eraser to Karma, who says he forgot his.**

 **At the end of class, when you get the mechanical pencil and eraser back from Karma, I want you to peel off the eraser covering and look inside. Tell him how you really feel.**

"I forgot my pencil case.. well then.."

"Why don't you use my pencil and eraser?"

"Even the eraser?!"

"Wow Nagisa, its just like you predicted the future."

"Hahaha…"

Class ended as Karma handed the things back to Nagisa with a small thanks. _The eraser!_ Waving goodbye, he slowly slid the covering and found a paper inside. At first he was confused, as he only saw the list of drinks that everyone wanted to get from earlier. But turning the small piece of paper around, he found a note: "Should I go out with her?"

 **The eraser that Karma gave back to me.. I never realized he gave me a message on that day.**

 _What should I do? How should I reply?_

Making up his mind, he used his pencil quickly writing down his own message back as he placed the piece of paper back into his classmate's locker. Running out, he spotted most of the class cheering as the patted their redhead with words of encouragements.

"Thatta boy!"

"Haha looks like you've gotta spend some time with your girlfriend now."

"Aye, class cutest couple!"

Taking a few steps back, he smiled with the rest of them before running away to the opposite direction. Nagisa couldn't seem to make himself grin and support them like the rest of the class. Biting his lips, he continued running until he found himself outside and took the orange juice out. It was sweet yet sour. The taste of sorrow.

The locker opened as he read the reply that was given back to him. "Don't."

 **(In the Future)**

 _After Karma's mother passed away, he lived in his grandmother's house, just outside of Matsumoto. This is the second time I visited Karma's place with everyone._

"Good afternoon~ I was the one who spoke on the phone the other day."

"Why good afternoon, please come in. I've been expecting you. Its nice to have people who's visiting Karma."

 _The last time we came… was for Karma's funeral._

"Whats this? Kayano-chan is this one yours?"

"Ah, yes! Nagisa and I are married."

"Ohh, so Nagisa-kun and Kayano-chan got married."

"You remember us?"

"Of course I do, Karma talked a lot about you all. Nagisa-kun the most though."

 _I never realized he spoke about us.. about me. I'm sorry.. I wasn't able to save you Karma. I had so much I wanted to talk to you about. So many things I wanted to tell you. So many things I wanted to ask you. I'll always regret not having the courage.. to really talk to you Karma._

" _Nagisa!"_

 _What was it that you were trying to tell me that day? Even six years from now, I still wonder._

 **(Present Day)**

 _I wonder if he saw the note?_

"M-morning.."

"I can't wait to eat your bento again Nagisa."

"Eh? Sorry, I didn't make one.. since you're going out with Minami-san and everything.. I just thought it would be odd if I actually made one."

"Well, its fine. Thanks for everything. I knew it was annoying, but I actually really enjoyed it. Sorry for being such a pain. Except for when I'm teasing you. That's fun."

 _That's not it… it wasn't a pain. Thanks to the lunch, I was finally able to talk to you. I'll never forget the way you smiled when I told you I made it just for you. It made me… extremely happy. I have to tell him that. It wasn't a pain. I enjoyed it!_

"Karma!"

"Yeah?"

The moment the red head male turned around, Nagisa looked down on the floor before looking up again just about to open his mouth. However, Karma was soon greeted by a certain girl with two braids happily. Nagisa just smiled and said "nevermind" instead.

 _I should stop.. talking to Karma. I'm sure I'm just bothering him now. He's with Minami-san.. its not fair to her if I talk to him all the time. I'm sure of that._

 _But when I think about them together.. my chest starts hurting. Why didn't I look at the eraser earlier that day? Why didn't I talk to him directly instead of leaving him a note? Why..? Maybe its impossible to live without any regrets. Even when you know the future.. you can still mess up along the way._

 **Since Karma and Minami began dating, we didn't talk as much as we used to anymore.**

 **Today was the first time Karma called out to me at lunch time, but I spotted Minami-san and turned my back pretending I didn't hear him.**

 **It won't be the last time I will ignore him.**

 **If he calls out to you, I want you to respond no matter what. Don't just wait for him to call out to you; I want you to initiate a conversation as well. I'm sure you'll think of something to say to him.**

 _But its hard to start a conversation when they're together.. not that Minami-san is a bad person. I'm just not brave enough.. to talk to them. Wait.. is Karma alone?_

"Nagisa! I need to talk to you!" _ **I want you to respond**_

However right at that moment, Minami-san popped out apologizing for being late. Turning away, Nagisa walked ahead mentally smacking himself in the head.

 _If only I had been braver.. its easy to say that when you're looking back on things that happened years ago! Maybe it all seems so easy and simple after the face… but when you're in the moment, its really hard! What if.. I call out to Karma and he doesn't resons? What if.. he won't talk to me? What if I just make a big mess of everything like I did before?_

School ended as Nagisa proceeded on not making contact with Karma. To his surprise, a green haired girl grabbed his arm along the way back to home.

"Nagisa-kun."

"Kayano-chan…?"

"Don't run away."

 _Huh? This wasn't in the letter. It seems like the future changed once more._

"What are you..?"

"Its totally fine for you to talk to him. That's why we're friends. It seems like Karma wants to talk to you too. But it never ends well so he's been staying strangely quiet. Go and get him! He just walked out of the school building. You're making it harder for him really."

"..Really..? Oh uhm.. thank you."

 _I never… realized that Karma felt nervous too. I've just been protecting myself. Even though he called out to me, I just turned my back onto him. What if our positions were switched? It would feel awful. I can't believe I just did that to him. I have to talk to him face to face._

 _Myself in the future, you probably have something you're regretting more than I do. You say there are things you wished you could have told Karma.. that maybe if you had, Karma will still be here with you. But he's here now. Even if it doesn't go well… at least we still have a chance._ Panting he stopped.

"Karma!"

"Karma… it wasn't a pain! I liked making you're lunches. You said you were sorry for being a hassle.. but I never felt that way at all! I didn't mind, actually was happy to do it! You called me out earlier and I just flat out ignored you. Sorry. Call out to me again and I won't turn away!"

 _Karma… is here right now. At this moment. He's standing right here._

"Haha what's this? Too cliché if you ask me. But thanks, even though I already long forgotten what I wanted to tell you."

 _My voice can still reach him. I want to cherish this moment.. forever._

With Nagisa catching up to him, they both chatted once again. Sitting down at a nearby park with nearly no people, Karma held out a paper.

"I'm thinking about breaking up with her."

"Eh? Its only been two weeks."

"But it doesn't feel right. And I don't want to play with her feelings either. Besides.. you said 'don't' didn't you?"

 _My note, he read it. Oh god, I feel embarrassed now._

"And I have someone I like now."

"Who is it?"

"That's a secret of course."

 _I wonder if my future self… know who Karma likes._

((Sorry late update. Busy with a lot of stuff. I cry. Well, see you~ pssstt reviews pls))


	5. Chapter 5

_On the way to Karma's grandmother's house, all of us talked about what Karma would be if he lived as an adult "in another world."_

 _If time travel were real… If we can change the past… a 20-year old Karma could still exist in some other world. That's what I wanted to think._

 **(Present Day)**

 **April 5**

 **Starting today, Karma would be absent from school for a week.**

 **No matter how much I asked what happened, he just won't tell me.**

 **When I think of it now, it has been a month or so since his mother's death, the day when many people perform a final ceremony for the dead. I only learned his mother passed away during the day we invited him after Karma passed away at June 25** **th** **.**

 _Karma.. must be carrying so much pain. I wished I can just ask him outright._

 **April 12**

 **Heavy rain in the morning (but it will be sunny again soon)**

 **I lend my handkerchief to Karma after he forgot his umbrella and got soaked. Honestly, I should've brought a bath towel.**

"Whoa you're soaked."

"Heh, enjoy the fan service of seeing me soaked while you can then."

"Karma-kun, you can use this."

"A… bath towel? Although I greatly appreciate that, why in the world do you have one in your bag?"

"I just happened to."

 **Karma invited us to form a study group since exams are coming up. A few of us walked together back home for the first time in a while. While parting with others, I was invited again to "study over the weekends" by Karma.**

"Say why don't we all walk home together today?"

"Su- ow!"

"We got plans. Why don't you and Karma just walk home by yourselves?"

Unknown to Nagisa, the red head was giving off a smile that was overly sweet. His eyes glared and screamed "say no" to the other students. Just about everyone got the message while the blue haired male was confused and went on with the flow. _Did the present change?_

After school Nagisa went out with Karma. And to be honest, he was a little nervous. Ugh, he should seriously stop relying on the letters too much.

"There's somewhere I want to go first. Mind going there with me?"

"No, of course not. Where's the place?"

"It's a secret for now."

Taking a few flights of stairs they reached their destination as the blue haired male gaped at the scenery in awe. Mountains from land far away could be seen as other students were hanging out below them. The sky was bright blue, with fluffy white clouds hovering above them.

"Found this place when I transferred. Pretty cool if you ask me."

"Yeah, I don't come here often…"

"Hm. Nagisa, close your eyes."

"My eyes..?"

"Yup. Come on now."

"Why?"

"Do you not trust me? If you do, please close them."

"Alright…"

 _What's going on? I cant see.. I'm getting kind of nervous. Karma, hurry up. Eh? Did he touch my neck?_

When Nagisa finally opened his eyes, his hands flew on his neck to find a necklace with a ring. Looking down he examined it and noticed black lettering outlined with gold on the silver ring. "143 224". He looked up and locked eye contact with golden ones.

"This is.."

"A gift from me to you. Does it seem to too girlish to you? Not that you can't pass for a girl."

"No no its alright. I really like it… wait. What does the last comment mean?!"

"Haha its for the lunches you've always been making for me."

"You didn't have to. But thank you Karma-kun, I'll treasure it."

"You better. Truth is, I live with my grandmother. She said it was unfair to you when if you started making me lunch. But I really did want to eat the lunches you made. Wonder if I'm being selfish or not."

"Its fine…"

"Shall we head down?"

Nodding his head, the two of them headed down to the city. _I think I'm falling deeper for him. I feel all happy and giddy.. man I sound like a high school girl in love. Wait but aren't I? FSHGRGI. Also.. what did the letters mean? Looks like I better ask._

"Karma, I have a question."

"What is it?"

"What does the letters on the ring mean?"

"… Maybe I'll tell you it one day."

"Your full of mysterious…"

"That's a good thing, I can keep you interested in me."

… _That. Was. Smooth._

"Nagisa. Are you free on Saturday and Sunday?"

 _The future is changing little by little._

 **After a month of dating, Karma and Minami-san apparently broke up. I was also excited that he invited me to study. Somehow I still didn't get a good grade on the exams. Be careful!**

 _He still invited me. In the letter, he and Minami-san dated for a month. But that changed to about one week. Everything that happened today was also thanks to the latter. To my future self.. Thank you for sending this letter. I wonder if.. today's present from Kamra reached the "me" in the future…_

 **April 25**

 **We get our exams back. Karma gets the highest score in our class. (I only got average..)**

"Top of the class! As expected of our Karma-kun."

"Yo, which cram school do you secretly go to?"

"I don't go, I'm just a genius like that. Though I'm only kidding. Thank Nagisa for helping me study."

 _My score was a 92. It was actually pretty good. At least I don't have to worry about that.._

 **After we got our test back, there's still time in class. So Koro-sensei gives us a talk. It was really interesting, so I even remember what it was about in detail even now. It was about time travel.**

"Nurufufu~ Since we have couple of minutes before the bell rings.. I want to talk about something you might find interesting!"

"Have there ever been times when you're taking an exam and though to yourself… 'if only I had known the questions beforehand'? What if you could build a time machine, go to the future, and bring back the answers with you? Sounds crazy, I know. But its theoretically possible."

 _That letter! I wonder if it could have been sent back in a time machine.. maybe in the future, everyone has a time machine?! But if that were the case.. wouldn't I just come back in time myself?_

"Travelling forward in time would be the easy part. Heck, we're doing that right now! But class, to make a great leap forward, you'd need to move faster than a speed of light. And even faster than me. This comes from Einstein's theory of relatively… *insert science stuff*"

"But here comes black holes. What would happen to you if you got sucked into a black hole? Some people believe that the massive amount of gravity in a black hole causes a time-space distortion, allowing for the possibility of a time slip."

"Koro-sensei."

"Yes?"

"I think time travel is impossible. What if you go back and try to change things so they go the way you want them to? Then the timeline that created "you" would disappear from history. So what would happen to "you" that went back in time in the first place?"

"Perfect counter example. However you are referring to a time paradox. There are many scholars who refute time travel because of this very reason. However there is a way of traveling without messing up your own time stream. It all depends on whether there are multiple universes or not. If parallel universe exist.. then there can be multiple versions of the past and present from branching off forever."

(Science is complicated. I know.)

"In a parallel universe even if you change the past.. you would just create a different timeline of your own. You cannot change the past of your own reality. So you don't worry about erasing yourself from existence. If time travel is possible, we could probably also prove the existence of parallel universe. Class dismissed."

 _Come to think of it… the letter is becoming less and less accurate at the predicting things as time go by. Is it because we're moving along a different timeline? Then if the past was changed by sending the letter.. the future and the contents of the letter should change with it. But the letter hasn't changed at all. Is there another version of the past?_

 _Even if I save Karma in this world… he'll still be dead in my other future self's world. I can't erase her regrests. That's.. I'm sorry… Karma in the other world._

"Nagisa? What's wrong? You're crying…"

 **(In The Future)**

"I… should have made Karma's lunches back then. And told him not to go out with Minami-san. I just.. wanted him to be happy."

 _Even years later, I still go over these regrets again and again._

"Me too… maybe that would have changed things…"

 _Not long before Karma passed away, I received a text from him. I didn't know it would be the last one he would ever send to me. I wonder if Karma ever saw the text I sent back._

" **Nagisa, I want to apologize.**

 **The day I got angry at you have been playing on repeat in my head. I know I hurt you. Lately, I've been frustrated with being unable to control my emotions, being irritable, becoming down so easily, and all that.**

 **Its kind of sudden but..**

 **Who did you give chocolate for? Did you ever find out the meaning of the numbers on the ring? Even as I'm writing this, you probably won't tell me. And so, I'm sorry. That's all."**


	6. Chapter 6

"You okay now?"

"Yeah, sorry about earlier. I'm fine."

"Sure about that Nagisa-kun? It seemed like something was on your mind." _I'm still a little shaky to be honest…_

"Really, I'm okay. Let's go eat. Its lunch time after all."

 **After chemistry, we all talked about the cultural festival. (Lunch basically)**

 **I told him about how they left off fireworks at the end of the festival last year. Karma whispers to me "Let's watch them together, just the two of us."**

"Now that exams are finally over, all that's left is the cultural festival. And I also have to say, this is indeed one of the best potato salads I've had."

"It's a simple recipe…"

 _It seems like the past changed again. I guess we're not… going to watch the fireworks together._

"Hey Nagisa-kun.. if you can go back to the past or the future.. what will it be?"

"The future I guess. Even if there were no way to change the future, I would want to know what happens so I can change the present."

"I see… but I would choose the past."

"How come?"

"I also want to change the present. Even if I couldn't change the past… maybe I could still ease my burdens here a little bit. It would be much better than bouldering them for the rest of my life."

"Your… burdens?"

"Well, thanks for the meal!"

With a small clap and cheerful smile, the redhead proceeded to close the lid of the container. Giving the boy next to him a light pat, blue eyes observed the other. It never seems to change. Every single day, no matter what the situation was his _smile never fades away._

 _He sounded like he was being cheerful but…_

 **By changing things, you might miss out on some happy memories (If that's the case, I'm sorry.)**

 **But there is something I don't want you to miss out on. That would be my memory of watching the fireworks at the cultural festival.**

"Karma?"

"Hm?"

 **Please don't erase that memory.**

"At the cultural festival… at the end, they have fireworks! Really big ones… let's watch them together."

"Sounds pretty good. I'll just tell the others ab-"

"That's not what I mean… Just the two of us."

 _I can hardly believe it… this is probably the first time in my life that I invited someone out on my own. There's still hope… for the future._

 _The world of my future self who sent the letter, and the world I live in are probably two separate things. Meaning that if I change things here… things is her world won't change at all._

"You've been smiling all day. What's up?"

"Ah, isn't it Kayano-chan. Nagisa-kun invited me to go to the cultural festival to watch fireworks. Is that okay with you?"

"Why are you asking me? Of course I'll be fine with it."

".. You like Nagisa-kun don't you?"

"Wha?! How do you know that?! I haven't told anyone!"

"I think everyone knows except for Nagisa himself."

"Are you kidding me?!"

"Nope."

 **On the first day of the festival, the whole class left Karma and I alone to clean at a pool party. Though honestly, I think it was mostly because of Koro-sensei with his weird ideas.**

"…Did they really just leave us to clean after them?"

"Yeah…"

Turning on the hose, Karma sighed and started spraying around the area. Although he seemed annoyed on the outside, the blue haired male knew the taller male didn't mind. He started to do some work himself before he felt a splash of coldness on his shirt and body. Whipping his head around, his eyes met playful golden ones as he laughed and sprayed back at him.

However, after a while the laid down at the cool floor tired from the cleaning and fooling around.

"The ring/necklace… if you don't like it I can get you something different."

"What? No no no. I haven't been wearing it since I was afraid I was going to lose them."

"Eh, Nagisa is the dere type…"

"Where did that conclusion come from?!"

 _I wonder if my future self sent the letter without knowing that her world can't be changed. I probably can't save my future self from her regrets. But she is still moving forward. Her words give me hope._

At the end of the day the green haired girl ran up to Karma since it was there free time. Both of them had nothing to do at the moment since Nagisa was helping out their other classmates.

"Hehe, Karma~"

"What brings me here to talk to me?"

"Hm, boredom you can say. So tell me, do you actually like Nagisa-kun?" Her eyes lit up as it screamed "otp" or "fujoshi-mode"

"Is it okay for me to like him?"

"Sure, why not?"

"I don't want to mess things up."

"What do you mean?"

"Usually no matter what choices I make, it always seems like it's the wrong one. I've made many choices that I regret. Like dating Minami-san. I think I disappointed both sides by doing that. I don't want to do something that I'll regret again. Even with my looks, I rather not hurt people."

"So what? You're never going to do anything ever again? Nothing will ever change unless you try."

"I'm fine with that."

 _I don't want to bring any more sadness into Kamra's life. I have to do whatever the letter asks me to do no matter what. I don't want to have even one more regret._

 **At the end of the festival, Karma and I watched the fireworks together. It was nice. Today is a day full of wonder. If you just be yourself, you'll be fine.**

 _Its almost time… for the fireworks to start._

"Lets head to the rooftop.. shall we?"

"Sure!"

 _Somehow I want to experience the same day as myself ten years in the future… I want to see.. his smile. The sound of leaves rustling in the wind, the insects chirping, and the sounds of fireworks exploding in the sky. Or maybe because I couldn't see his face all that clearly, I was able to speak to him without feeling awkward or shy._

Looking down, long slender fingers touched pale fragile ones and eventually held onto it. With a small smirk he looked into baby blue eyes who seemed confused and flustered at the same time. Maybe Nagisa's cuteness is affecting him.

"Can you tell? I'm pretty nervous right now."

"Eh? You seem calm."

"Haha, do I? When I held hands with Minami-san, I really didn't think anything of it. Its weird."

 _I never thought that he might be nervous too._

"Nagisa, thanks for asking me here. I'm glad we saw the fireworks together. I'll never forget today as long as I live. Today was a good day."

 _His words will stay with me forever. I wonder if the_ _me from the future were able to hold hands with Karma._

 **Karma said it was a good day.**

 **From here on, please watch over Karma so that he can have many more happy days. That will surely save him from himself.**

((Is this chapter short? Maybe? Eeeehhh. Sorry guys if it isn't good. But you know, reviews n stuff are always welcome! :3))


	7. APOLOGY

I just realized this and I so deeply apologize. (Thanks for the review, because of this I make this announcement) I keep referring Nagisa as a "her" when really it should be a "him" when talking about his future self. I'm so sorry for any confusion and hope you can forgive me.

I'm. really. really. really. sorry. _ I'll fix these mistakes in the future and edit the chapters later.


	8. Chapter 7

**(In the Future)**

"Aww, look at him! Karma was so cute!"

"He must have been around six in that picture."

"Hahaha, so true!"

 _How sweet…_

"Hey… was it really an accident?"

"… We want to know what really happened. Right after Karma died, the police said they weren't really sure it was an accident."

"The cops asked us all sorts of questions, like had Karma been acting weird lately, or did he talk about wanting to die. Stuff like that."

"But later on, the police said it was an accident after all."

Nagisa spoke up this time, as he seriously looked at Karma's grandmother. Her face was a bit sad, but she seemed to be listening intently about what they were saying.

"They said the brakes failed on Karma's bike, and that he went into the middle of the road and was hit by a truck. It came out of nowhere.. we had no idea what to think."

The old lady closed her eyes as she smiled reopening them looking at the picture of her grandson years ago. Her wrinkled fingers touched the photo as she put it back to its original place. Opening her mouth she looked at the youngsters who were eager to know the truth.

"Its probably all right for me to tell you know. Right, Karma?"

Sliding out a piece of paper and unfolding them, she let them read.

"Here. It's a letter Karma left behind. I found it in his room the day after he died."

" **Grandmother. I'm sorry. I know this will hurt you, and I'm really sorry about that. If something should happen to me, please tell everyone it was an accident. I'm just apologizing to my mother. Thank you for all that you've done for me. From your grandson that's a genius."**

"I think that… Karma purposely rode his bike in front of that truck. I was so mad at him, then I was mad at myself for not being able to stop him. But now, all my anger's gone. I just miss him."

 _Karma.. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry._

"We.. miss him too."

Tears sprung up in everyone's eyes once again, as they quickly wiped it trying to hide their sadness. Karma's grandmother passed some tissues around keeping the same gentle smile as she waited for them to finish.

"Um.. A few years ago, we all buried a time capsule together. We just dug it up the other day and there was a picture of Karma inside. I'd like you to have it."

"Oh my, thank you."

 _Since we had cried so much over Karma already, we promised that today, we were going to think of him and smile. But in the end, it was just too sad without him there. I still miss him._

' _Regrets'_

 _I regret how timid and meek I was back then. Always telling myself that I couldn't do anything, never even daring to try. That's something I regret._

 **(Present Day)**

 **Myself six years in the past, it's alright. You can still learn from my mistakes.**

 _I wonder how my future self felt… so while he had a similar experience, it was probably a little different. But.. Karma did smile._

[Beep Beep!]

Raising an eyebrow, the blue haired male reached his phone and smiled as he received a text message. But then he had a little shock moment when they requested him to do a favor.

[Meet up at 5:30 for Matsu-bon! Meeting is at Hanadokei Park kaay~ Oh and ask if Karma wants to come.] "Eh? Me? Okay.."

(Sorry to bug you at the moment. But we're gonna have a festival soon. Do you want to come? The others are going too.)

[Beep beep!]

[Sure, I'll go. Are you going to wear a yukata?]

[Yeah. I think I have one. Might as well wear it. How about you?]

[Me? Hmmm if I'm not feeling lazy to find one, sure.]

 **All of us went to the Matsumoto Bon-Bon. Even though Karma acted like he didn't exactly want to wear one, he wore a yukata after all. While we were walking around, we got separated from the others, leaving Karma and I alone together.**

 **While two of us were talking, I asked about his mother. He just got quiet. I then changed the subject.**

 **I want you to ask about his mother. I think one of his largest regrets is not being able to save her. I want you to save him from his regrets. If you can do that, it may prevent his accident.**

 _What does that mean? To prevent his accident? Wouldn't that be something I could do once I knew the date and time? Hm… maybe I should read head. Then I'd know when the accident will happen. Usually I only read the day's page to keep from getting confused. But looking ahead just this once can't hurt, can it?_

 _This is it, the last letter. June.._

 **This day started off no different than any other.**

 **That night, as I was writing in my journal, a classmate called me and said "Karma was in an accident." Then he told me Karma had died.**

 **The accident happened sometime after eight at night. It happened at an intersection near Karma's house. When riding his bike, Karma rode out in front of an oncoming truck. There was nothing that could be done. Even if it hadn't been the truck, it would have been something else.**

 **I want you keep Karma from choosing death.**

 **I want you to lighten the load that Karma is carrying.**

 **I want you to help Karma bear his worries.**

 **I don't want you to leave him alone. Mend his heart.**

 **Six years later, we learned that Karma's death was a suicide, not an accident. We only have one regret :We let Karma die.**

 _Karma.. commits suicide? Then, even if I prevent the accident, that doesn't mean.. that I've saved him. Then, what should I do.. How do I save him?_

 **(Time of Festival)**

"Hey, Nagisa!"

Turning around, he grinned as he spotted a waving redhead with his usual smirk.

"It seems like you did wear a yukata after all."

"Yep, found one. Belongs to my grandfather's I believe. And you look different"

"Haha.. in a bad way? I knew I didn't look too good in this…"

"Pfftt, don't worry. I just thought it looked refreshing. Though it would've been more fun if you wore a girl's yukata. I would pretend you were my girlfriend or something."

"I don't think I have any intentions of wanting to cross dress as a girl…"

His face turned bright red as he looked away. But after a while, they realized nobody was coming and received texts saying they would be late and such. Looking at each other, Karma and Nagisa shrugged as they suggested to each other different places to go to kill time.

"Speaking of couples.. who's the person you're interested in, Karma?"

"… You're asking that now? Well.. its complicated."

"?"

"My feelings have changed. I've realized that this is someone I like a lot."

"I see."

 _Person he likes a lot. But he still didn't say who!_

"Let's go to the shrine."

"Sure."

They waited in line until it was their turn. Clasping his hands together, Nagisa closed his eyes and made a wish. When they ended Karma was already at the steps waiting for the other to come down. When he caught up to him they started chatting again.

"What did you wish for?"

"For you. I wished for your happiness."

"My happiness?"

"Yeah." With a smile, baby blue eyes looked up at golden ones.

"You know if you tell people your wish it won't come true."

"What?! Why did you ask?!"

"Hahaha, don't worry. It came true. I'm pretty happy right now."

 _Maybe because I know the truth about Karma's death.. but somehow today Karma's smile seemed a little sad._

"What did you wish for?"

"I didn't make one."

"You didn't?"

"I don't know if you'd call it a prayer, but I tried talking to my mother. I thought, since we're at a shrine, it might reach her."

"What did you say to her?"

"… Why, that's a secret!"

 **I want you to ask about his mother.**

"I'm starving! Let's get some yakisoba."

"Okay."

 _Its fine for now. I don't want to ruin the good time I'm having with Karma. I'll ask him about it later._

"Say, the others are seriously late."

"Yeah. We seemed to have wandered away from the actual festival."

"Eh, whatever. I like it here. Its quiet. And these sandals are killing me. I'm going to sit there."

The two of them sat down as Karma took off his sandals examining his sore feet. Sighing he gave up and put his sandals back on. _I wonder if it's a good time to ask.._

"Is it okay to ask what you said to your mother at the shrine?"

"I said it was a secret didn't I?"

 _I'm just trying to help him._

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it? I don't mind hearing about your memories of her or your worries.."

"There's nothing. Absolutely nothing." Karma glanced up with a small smile.

 _Changing the future has surely changed me as well._

"There's no way you don't have any worries. Like, how about not being able to save your mother?"

Golden eyes widened for a moment, with hints of tears coming out. Looking away, red bangs covered his eyes as he spoke a little more quietly. His usual smirk and smile was now gone, replaced by a blank expression. Nagisa hands were now in fists as he worryingly watched his friend.

"If I told you, you might not want to be around me anymore."

"No, that would never happen!"

"Yeah, I believe you. Well.. I have lots of regrets. But the main one is probably from the day I transferred here."

"The day when your mother died?"

"Mmhm. That morning, I made a promise. A promise I wasn't able to keep."

((Hi hi! So I still didn't fix the "she" in the other chapters… I'm just too tired. Sorry sorry. Well, reviews and stuff are helpful~ Hehe see you next time))


	9. Chapter 8

"She said to me… Karma, after school ends, come home right away. I need you to come with me. While I replied 'okay and sure' I didn't take her seriously."

Nagisa shifted his position slightly as he continued listening.

"Even before I came here, my mother's health wasn't good, and she was often at the hospital. That first day she was going to a new hospital and she was nervous.. so I promise to go with her. I was planning to go home right away… but.. I was happy that everyone suggested we walk home together."

 _We invited him to come hang out with us. That's why the letter said to not invite him._

"I was worried about getting along with everyone… haha how pathetic. But that resulted with me figuring I would make it up to my mom later. I sent her a text saying I was too busy to go with her after all. She never replied."

"My mother had become emotionally unstable, she couldn't do anything without me by her side. I knew that I had to be there for her.. I know and still I.. On that day, she seemed like such a pain to have around. I didn't think she will kill herself just like that. Its.. my fault.."

Warm salty liquid dripped out of the once piercing gold eyes. His voice cracked as he told his story for the other to hear. Nagisa felt his own eyes watering up but managed to stay silent the whole time.

"That's why earlier.. at the shrine visit.. I said 'I'm so sorry mom' But I can never make it right.."

"Karma, its okay. Your mother.. she understands."

" _Its okay"? That's the best I can do? What a stupid thing to say. Nothing is "okay"._

"Yeah. Thanks Nagisa. I've been feeling awful for a while now. But talking about it did make me feel a little better. Sorry, but mind leaving me alone for a moment?"

"Of course, I'll be right over there."

"Kay."

 _I couldn't do anything. He opened up to me… And I had no idea what to say. The letters say to save him, but how do I do it?!_

At the end of the day Nagisa went him lying on his bed frustrated. Extremely frustrated.

 _Can I do this? If I can't do it, if I can't save him.. Why does everything have to be so hard?_

In between his thoughts he heard his doorbell ring and got up. Who could be ringing his doorbell at this hour? Peeking through the hole to see who it is, the blue haired male quickly opened the door slightly surprised by the guest. Smiling, he greeted her.

"Kayano-chan. What brings you here at this time?"

"I.. You can say I'm a little worried about Karma. He seemed down. Do you know what's going on?"

 _Hey.. maybe I should talk to Kayano. She seems to understand both Karma and I, and maybe this isn't something I can do on my own. I can try telling her about the letter and everything. I don't know if she'll believe me but.._

"Actually, I want to talk to you about Karma-kun."

"I know."

"I need your help. We need to save him."

 _Even if I tell her.. she might not believe me. She might not be able to help. But I want to tell her anyways._

"Its…"

"Nagisa-kun. Its alright, don't worry. Did you get it?"

"Huh?"

"The letter. I got one too. A letter from the future."

 _Those few words.. changed everything._

The very next morning, the two of them met up and exchanged the letters they had been receiving from their future selves. Looking at the date it seemed that the two of them both got their letter at the same time. Reading the girl's letter, he chuckled saying how both of their handwriting never changed.

"We even have the same envelope."

"Seriously?!"

" **Dear Kaede Kayano,**

 **How are you? I'm writing from the future. The truth is, I have a big request for you.**

 **Somehow, I want to erase a regret I've been holding on to. That way, you won't have it weighing on you for the rest of your life…"**

"There's a lot of stuff in the letter like don't say 'Let's walk home together' and invite Karma on the day of the entrance ceremony. And to get Karma to join Bitch-sensei's lessons. But on the day of the ceremony, I didn't read the letter until I got home, and then it was already too late."

 _So Karma attending Bitch-sensei's lessons…. That was thanks to Kayano-chan._

"The letter says she wants me to save Karma."

 _Regrets… maybe my future self and Kayano's future self are saying the same thing. They only have one regret: Not saving Karma. Everything we've been doing has been towards fixing that._

"I know this is all a lot to take in, but don't worry.. We're definitely saving Karma!"

"Mm.."

"So here, is our current assignment! You can make this one come true with me."

Getting another piece of paper out, the green haired girl gave another letter for Nagisa to read.

" **Karma's birthday is coming up soon.**

 **Since he didn't tell us, we didn't find out until afterward. So, we said we would celebrate it next year. But we were never able to celebrate his birthday. Before his birthday comes up, I want you to ask him about his birthday and find out what presents he wants. Other than that…"**

"It stops here… Kayano-chan, where's the rest?"

"Sorry, I think I left it at home."

"Eh?"

"Its all right, there was nothing else important written in there.. I think."

"What?!"

 _Karma's birthday, it wasn't mentioned in my letter. But I'm happy to know, that Kayano-chan also received a letter. I feel a lot better knowing that I'm not in this by myself._

The two of them went to their usual paths, going to school. As soon as class finished, the duo nodded their heads at each other already have a plan in mind. Going up to the redhead, Kayano casually asked about his birthday.

"Hm, Karma-kun when's your birthday?"

"Ehh, my birthday? What's this, want to give me a present? Better make it good then~"

"… Just answer the question."

"Sure. Exactly a week from now."

"Eh really?! That's really soon! Nagisa, we should make a party!"

"Yeah we should!"

The redhead laughed as he replied back to the two of them. The whole class slowly started joining in the conversation as well hearing that it was one of their classmate's birthday.

"I'd like that actually. I'm getting free food and stuff right? Hehe, then I shall start naming the gifts I want. Amphibian Quadski: $42,000, Chateau D'Yquem – White Wine: $117,000, The Nigiri Sushi: $1,978.15, Stradivarius Violin: $15.9 Million, Giacometti's Pointing Man Sculpture: $141 Million.."

"TOO MANY AND TOO MUCH MONEY!"

The red head laughed as he heard the whole class shout at him in unison. Of course it was too much money, its more than their reward of killing their unbeatable teacher. Smirking he leaning back on his chair placing his feet on his desk.

"Good luck~"

But at the end nobody found out really what Karma wanted. Maybe except for one person. Just one.

"I haven't done anything for Nagisa."

"What do you think I should do?"

"Confess to him, duh. You should know better than that."

"Oh yeah? What about you Kayano-san?"

"I won't."

"Psh, talk about contradicting yourself here."

"Say Karma-kun, is there anything you would like?"

"Nope. Or more like, it would be boring if I told you."

"Come on, there gotta be something."

"Lets see… a flower bouquet or something might be nice."

"A flower bouquet?! You serious?"

"Yeah I am."

 **(To the Future)**

"Here's my gift!"

"This is from me. I got you a new bag since you've been using your old one for a while."

"Hey, Kayano-chan you haven't given yours yet. Or are you embarrassed?"

"No way I will be. He requested this after all. Happy birthday."

Taking out a bouquet of flowers the green haired girl placed it on the alter before quickly snatching it up again and shoving it to her husband's hands grinning.

"They're from Karma."

"What…?"

(Flasback)

"Lets see… a flower bouquet or something might be nice."

"A flower bouquet?! You serious?"

"Yeah I am. When I get them.. I'll give them to Nagisa."

"Hah? It wouldn't be your present then!"

"I'm just kidding."

(End Flashback)

"So… that's why Karma wanted to give you flowers."

"Why.. me?"

"Really? I think we all know."

"Mmhm, at least we all now know why he wanted those. Karma has always been thinking about Nagisa this whole time. "

"Karma always… liked you Nagisa."

 _I always wondered who Karma had a crush on. Even though he isn't here anymore, he was still able to give me the flowers. Karma. If he was here, what would he say? But… my past self still might be able to find out. I'm going to hold on to that hope._

((Hello~ New chappy is out. Well have a good day guys and like reviews are needed! Like. I need criticism because I suck at writing. Haha…))


	10. Chapter 9

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!~"

The red head laughed and smirked as he looked around the now decorated classroom and cake. How long has it been since he have celebrated his birthday with someone other than his family member?

"Yep, thanks. Whoa, looks like the first gift is from Nagisa. I feel honored."

"Its really nothing much. Only a bag. I mean, I feel like you've been using that same bag since the beginning of junior high."

"Haha, you say that but this doesn't look cheap. I'll treasure it."

Time went by as Karma got more presents. Sensing that there was one more person with something behind her back, the redhead went up to her smirking.

"What's this? Making me guess what it is first?"

"No its… ah whatever! Here."

The green haired girl put the bouquet of flower into his hands as he just stared down dumbfounded. A nearby girl whispered loudly for everyone to hear asking if this was a confession.

"No, no! Karma asked for it himself!"

"Your not supposed to actually bring them… It was a joke for goodness sake."

"But now that you have it, don't back down."

 **Kayano's Letter:**

 **Before Karma birthday comes up, I want you to ask him about his birthday and find out what present he wants. Other than that..**

 **When you go ask him about what he wants, make sure you're the last to ask. I think Karma will definitely say 'a flower bouquet'. When he does, ask him why. Then, make sure you give him the flowers. No matter what.**

"Then… here you go Nagisa. I'll give them to you."

"Eh? Why me..?"

"Because."

Closing his eyes the red head reopened them and golden eyes brimmed with unknown nervousness and confidence at the same time.

"I suppose I should man up at tell you. I first have to apologize for the fact these flowers weren't bought by me. But the feelings my words… they're real. Nagisa. I love you."

Everyone giggled and clapped silently at Karma's bold confession. The class slowly went out of the classroom to give the two of them space. Of course, my going out of the classroom, it was literally only out of the classroom. The door was still open so they can listen to what's going on.

 **Kayano's Letter:**

 **At that time, I couldn't bring myself to cheer for the two of them. But when Karma died and Nagisa cried for days and days… I really regretted the fact that I hadn't stepped aside so the two of them could be happy.**

 **That's why I want you to watch over them. I know its hard to watch the one you love fall for someone else… But hey, you got other priorities don't you?**

 **Make the two of them, Karma and Nagisa, realize their feelings for each other. Somehow, find a way for Karma and Nagisa to be smiling together, six years from now.**

 **I know you can do it.**

 _Karma… likes me?_

"Of course, you don't have to answer right now. I just wanted you to know how I feel."

"Okay.." _What should I do?_

The next day proceeded on as a normal school day. Nothing special, just the same routine. Everyone said their good mornings. During that time, Karma was around 10 minutes late to class. After being scolded lightly by their teacher, he went to sit down at his seat as well. Nagisa smiled inwardly seeing that the redhead was using the bag that he bought for him.

 _If it had been me who had confessed to Karma, I wonder how Karma would've felt about it._

"Nagisa-kun do you have a moment?"

"Kayano-chan? Sure, what is it?"

"Check your letter, what does it say on the 23rd? (Actually I honestly lost count, so bear with me with the made up dates..)"

"23rd? Hold on.."

 **( Nagisa ) This is something we heard about Karma's grandma years after the fact.**

 **On this date, Karma attempted suicide.**

 **We heard that he wrapped a towel around his neck in his own room and tried to choke himself. He fell unconscious and was taken to the hospital. The reason he was absent for several days later was because he was hospitalized.**

"This is bad.. what should we do…"

"I have that written in my letter too. However, the world from the letters and our world had deviated a bit. As of Karma now, the present may have changed where he doesn't attempt suicide."

Nagisa continued on for her.

"But on the other hand… a future where he actually commit suicide is also possible… We still have to do something."

 **On the day before the 23** **rd** **, Karma meets up with a friend from his old school. At that time, he spoke about his mother's suicide and told his friends that he also wants to die.**

 **Bit apparently his friend thought it was a joke and laughed it off. Get Karma to confide in your groups of friends.**

It was afterschool when Nagisa decided to stay and clean up the classroom. It was about his turn anyways. Looking out the window while taking a short break, he let out a small sigh.

"Poof!"

Karma walked up and stood next to the window sill staring right outside with him. It was obvious made that noise earlier.

"Poof?"

"Ah well, I was thinking about whether or not I could fly if I jumped from up here. Like superman."

"Karma, you do know that's not possible right?"

"You're too serious Nagisa, I was joking. Only joking. Though if I was a superman, maybe I would have been able to save my mother. Or maybe not.."

 _He's acting a bit strange.._

"I'm planning to meet up with some friends this Saturday. Its okay, I'm not a playboy."

"Don't go."

"Huh? Why not?" _He's asking me why but…_

A new voice was heard as the door slid open, revealing a girl carrying the bin back into the room.

"Don't meet up with them Karma-kun."

"You too Kayano?

The green haired girl huffed. "Hang out with us instead."

"What's with the two of you?"

Nagisa spoke up this time. "We're your friends. So why don't you tell us the things that's been dragging you down?"

"If you tell us your in pain, all of us will be there in an instant. None of us want to be smiling and laughing while your dying inside.. Have you… every thought about dying?"

Everything was silent. You could even hear a pin drop on the floor if there was one that actually dropped. Then the redhead smiled.

"I have. Every day. Its my fault."

Tears dripped down from golden eyes and onto pale cheeks.

"I was just so tired of looking after her. I just thought she was being a pain."

" _I knew I had to be there for her… I knew that and still…" I didn't know what to say to him. If I only could have thought of something to say. Why couldn't I comforted him somehow? But even now, I still don't know what to tell him._

"Anyone in your position would've felt the same way. My own mother is always on my case telling me to study or clean my room. So I'm always thinking 'What a pain!'. Its perfectly normal Karma-kun."

"No its different…"

"Let go of your regrets. You didn't do anything wrong!"

 _Its not what Karma would think of me… I just want him to know how I feel. To know that I need him in my life._

The blue haired male finally found his voice once again and looked up into golden orbs.

"Karma.. don't die. We don't want to lose you. I also… like you. I really like you so please don't go away!"

"Didn't I tell you.. you didn't have to say anything?"

 _Karma always has a happy expression. Even when he is sad, his expressions always stays the same.. He's been wearing that smile since the day we met him. Has he been hiding his sadness this whole time? I hadn't noticed the loneliness within that smile._

 _Someday we'll help him smile… without any sadness in it._

((Sorry I didn't update much… I was sick for an entire week. Not to mention about all the make up tests I had to take. Well here's the new chapter! Did you enjoy it? Hopefully you did.))


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